Basic needs: Ice cream and golf carts

Dear Nana and Papa, 


I miss you…  And your golf cart.  And your ice cream.  And letting me do whatever I want.   

I can’t believe the way I’m treated around here.  I need a golf cart.  How come I can’t have one?  Really, I’m feeling quite deprived. I need to feel the wind in my hair, and escape the confines of that darn car seat!   I’m a free spirit and Mom just doesn’t get me.   Papa, would you mind dropping off your golf cart when you leave Florida?  You won’t be using it, right?  Can I have it?  Pretty please?  With a cherry on top?


Mommy actually gave me some ice cream after lunch today, but she gave me such a piddly amount.  I ate it and then asked for more.  And to be clear, I told her, complete with hand gestures in a deep voice to show I was serious, that I wanted BIG ice cream.  But no dice.  She gave me another small spoonful.   Nana, I need someone around who truly understands my deep and profound need for ice cream!  I know you understand this.  Could you put in a good word for me?   Please??!!!   I’m desperate!


And mom doesn’t let me do what I want like you do.  Can this be considered cruel and unusual punishment?  Can I apply for compensation?  Maybe then I could buy my own golf cart, and keep our freezer stocked with ice cream!  (and pepperoni of course)

Come save me!!!


Yours in ice cream addiction and golf cart enthusiast, 



Even in my sleep, I suffer,  just dreaming about all the stuff I have to put up with.  

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