Corn-on-the-cobology

No, this picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post.  But would you believe I could not find pictures of corn-on-the-cob eating patterns?  I know!!  I was shocked too.  And of course, I have to have a picture, so, here’s my favorite subject…

Night before last, Mr.Tot had a meeting, and I had dinner with Tot and Blondie.  We had corn on the cob.  Blondie commented on my eating method – the typewriter style.  He was a self professed roller – eating around the cob.  Which got us to wondering - does the way you eat your corn on the cob indicate anything about you as a person. Would we find correlation with any other personality traits or skills?

So I did a little research and found this, and this, and this (not actually about corn-on-the-cob, but someone in the comments speculates on the possible correlation between pipette selection and corn on the cob eating method….)

The second one had some interesting statistics:

• 68% of people roll toilet paper over the spool

• 79% squeeze toothpaste from the top

• 7% look behind the shower curtain when using someone else’sbathroom

• 80% of people eat corn on the cob in circles instead of rows

• 10% of people have seen a ghost

• 7% of people have flossed their teeth with their own hair

Obviously toothpaste squeezing and corn cob eating are closely linked.  But then the article proceeds to tell why those statistics were meaningless…   Oh well.  I’m thinking of applying for a grant to investigate just what corn-on-the-cob eating styles may tell us about people.  Maybe the FBI or CIA would be interested in analyzing people based simply on how they eat their corn….  I’ve done a small study already with an n of 2 – Blondie and myself, and so far, the really promising potential correlations are:   (drum roll please)

- weather preference: hot (Blondie)  or cold  (me)

- skydiving (Bl) or hang gliding (me)

- plain potato chips (me) or flavored (Bl)

Other options to investigate are:

- sailboat or jet ski,

- skiing or snow boarding

- neat note-taker or doodler,

- engineer or artist

- clean or messy,

- chess or checkers

- vanilla or chocolate,

- lion or tiger,

- Picasso or Norman Rockwell,

- single or double wide,

- martini or margarita

and perhaps most importantly –

-  over or under for the toilet paper???

But then the fact that maybe there are more than 2 ways to eat your corn complicates matters…  Some would say there are 4 choices – round, typewriter, random or cut.  Then the choices get complicated:

- hot, cold, just right (you must be Goldilocks) or extreme

- skydiving, hang gliding, hot air balloon, or glider

- sailboat, sailboard, jet ski or waterski

- skiing, telemark, snowboarding or sledding (aka butt-skiing)

And so on…  So much to investigate, so little corn.  Or not.  My mother, who doesn’t like corn (What does THAT say?) always said corn is for pigs….  Which raises the question – how do pigs eat corn?  Do THEY have different styles?  What does eating the whole thing, core and all, mean?  Hmmm.  I’m going to need a REALLY large grant to investigate all these issues…  And a lot of volunteers…

(A side note – when I wrote this – I kept spelling cob “cobb” – my big brother works for Cobb-Vantress… I had no idea how much they had brain washed me!!  Resistance is futile!)

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