Not-so-shaggy Dog stories

When our shaggy dogs get a haircut, it’s pretty drastic.  They are usually pretty matted underneath and require a fairly close shave, but given the expense of dog-grooming these days, Mr. Tot usually does the dirty deed these days.  Although my mother has also been known to take after them with the scissors, and I have done my share of making them look like mutilated topiaries as well.  Barkylthorpe recently got her summer haircut completely unbeknownst to me. I came in the front door and nearly jumped out of my skin,  She looked like…, there’s just no other adequate description -   a Holocaust survivor.  Now I am not trying to make light of that tragedy in the slightest.  That’s just how pathetic she looked – thin and ragged.  All that long hair lulls you into thinking she’s fat and sassy. With it suddenly gone, it was apparent that fat and sassy she is not, so we’ve decided to add an extra meal to her day.  Maybe that’s why she’s taken to augmenting her diet with crayons, silicon cupcake footies, an occasional book, and whatever other tot toys catch her fancy.  Sometimes her dirty deeds are not discovered until the colorful evidence appears during the daily dog walks.

That’s not the first haircut that has caught my attention.  Back before we got Barkylthorpe, when Bergylsnorpe was enjoying, or perhaps suffering, single dog status, he got a haircut that created a rift in our delicate relationship.  This was before we had acquired a sheepdog-approved electric razor, so he went to the groomers.  Once again, he needed a close shave, however they left the hair on his entire head untouched, and then gave him a festive kerchief.  The end result was a striking, yes even uncanny, resemblance to Willie Nelson.  He was in the bedroom and I was in the hallway when I first saw him and I started laughing hysterically.  Well, he was none too pleased with my reaction and he got mad.  I do mean he was Mad!  He started barking at me and would not let me into the bedroom.  I was shocked. I actually had to apologize and tell him he was still handsome (big fib!) before he would let me go to bed.  Whoever claims animals don’t have feelings doesn’t know Bergylsnorpe.  He’s vewy sensitive….  I would suggest you be careful what you say to your pets.  You never know what they do when you’re not home…

Anybody have stories they want to share?  I need to know my critters are not the only crazy ones on the planet…

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