Request for Backup. QUICK!

Dear Godguys, 

 I need your help.  I really expected mom to have caved to my demands by now, but she’s tough, and resisting my training efforts.  I don’t really want that much. If I had my way, I’d watch Dora ‘Splorer, and ‘Eggo on TV all morning, then go to the park all afternoon, and then play at my friends’ house next door, and climb their rock wall until I fall down and sleep.  I would also eat pickles, peppeRoni and chocolate raisins all day.  Why can’t mom let me do all that?  She seems to get nervous when I climb that ladder that goes over her head.  Then I climbed up on the porch railing, and she got downright mad.  What does she expect from me??   At least she hasn’t figured out my stalling techniques for bedtime yet.  First I tell her I’m hungry.  And since I’m such a pixie, she totally feeds me!  Then I ask for hugs and kisses.  She’s a sucker for those.  Then I get a hammer lock on her and won’t let her go.  Of course sometimes she tricks me and offers me milk, which she has to go get.  By the time she gets back, I usually forget to trap her again. She’s sneaky.  Oh well. 

Back to what I was saying.  She’s just so mean.  She expects me to take a nap, or have “quiet time”.  How absurd. I’m far too busy for ‘tuff like that.  There’s just so much fun to be had. Like the other day, I was building a really long colorful caterpillar but I ran out of parts, and then Barkylthorpe ate one of my pieces.  The real killjoy was mom dragging me off to bed.  Otherwise I would have made the world record, I just know it.

totcaterpillar

I also like jumping on Tigers, riding Clifterd, the Big Red Dog, 

inmotion  clifford

and playing footsie with Daddy (notice the pepperoni!). 

footsies

On Sundays, I like going to Turch to sing, and marching up and down the aisles.  I guess Mom lets me do some good ‘tuff, but not nearly enough!!  I have been helping mom in the garden.  Mom told me to do a rain dance, and it worked!!! Boy, am I good!  We’re making a play area in the woods, but mom moves really slow.  It should be done by now.  Don’tcha think?

Yesterday, I told mom I like boys… she just looked at me funny and laughed.  She never takes me seriously.

I really need your help.  How am I supposed to live this way?  I feel repressed!  I just know they’re going to stunt my growth!  Dad’s not any better.  I’ve been trying to rebel, but it’s tough!  Send  back up. Flappy and Lambert are great for snuggling, but just aren’t willing to help me when things get rough.  They cower on the bed.  Even my faithful peeps just cheep out from under the pillows.   I’m alone here!!   I need all the support I can get!  QUICK!!

Repressed, and soon-to-be-stunted, 

Tot

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