Yes, we are still alive, barely….


Okay these pictures are just to get a smile.  From me.  before I tell you about the last few weeks, and why I haven’t been blogging….

I’m not sure I can even convey the chaos that has been our life….   I have spent a lot of time crying these past few weeks…  Don’t look at me the wrong way, or you’ll start a flood. Kind of like an avalanche.  Don’t do it…  And I have only gotten around to wrting about it because it appears to be winding down.  Until I got awful news of one of our neighbors tonight which busted through my sand bags and started yet another deluge.  Her 21 month old son has Type 1 Diabetes and was hospitalized last night.   Her friend has already rallied the nieghborhood to provide dinners and support until the family gets up to speed on the disease and deals with the sheer shock of the situation.  Our neighbors are just so incredible.

My delicate condition is all Mr. Tot’s fault.  He has been having intense headaches for almost 2 1/2 months.  It seemed to get progressively worse and remained undaunted by travel to the left coast which rules out issues with our happy home, probably.

He went for a 3 day treatment of intravenous drugs, but Nooooo, that wasn’t enough, he had to have more…   So he went to the hospital for FIVE days.  I thought that was a little extreme to get away from his mother-in-law….  And besides, my parents left on Day 2!!  Hmmm, maybe it’s me he’s getting away from….  He has seen multiple doctors, gotten blood tests, MRI, MRI with contrast, spinal tap, and cat scan at 3am when they thought he might have a pulmonary embolism (as a result of the tubes and drugs).   All clear on all fronts.  He’s been subjected to lots of needles, a picc line (which is a tube that snakes in by his shoulder and goes all the way to his heart), umpteen different knock-an-elephant-out pain killing drugs which necessitated umpteen other drugs.  He also got several visits from our wonderful neighbors bearing coffee and cookies and good cheer.  When he got back from the hospital, he confided that he didn’t think he’d make it out alive.  He was convinced he was in a downwards spiral into that wooden box.  Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the only reason they released him was that insurance would no longer pay – not that his pain was gone.  We were beside ourselves.  Now what?    Whoever has the voodoo doll of David must have decided to give him a break.  Either that or they assumed he was already dead.  Either way, his headaches are getting less intense and occasionally let him think he’s a real person.  We still have more doctor’s appts, but are cautiously hopeful that his head will be fully functional once again.  (This is sure to evoke a response from him!!!)

There’s lots of other stuff going on, but I’ll have to blather on about all that another day.  I have to go hook myself into my CPAP machine so I can look like a fighter pilot in bed…   or maybe just a person undergoing nose enhancement therapy to look like Pinocchio.

2 comments to Yes, we are still alive, barely….

  • Sherri

    I am so sorry. I remember being in the hospital and having a headache so bad that morphine didn’t begin to touch it but firocet (sp) was and still is wonderful!

    Lots of healthiness thoughts to your family!

  • Dara

    Hi Laura,

    Just noticed your post… I am so sorry! I can’t even imagine what you and David are going through. My thoughts are with you.


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